Posts

Depression vs mailman job

2017 Thanks to my poor mental health I can only do certain kinds of jobs - for example,a carrying mail at night and early in the morning. Every day, through storms, rain and snow. For a ridiculously small amount of money. But I just want to sleep on an ortophetic mattress, you know. And I can't afford such luxury to my hurting back without having a job. I've slept on a makeshift mattress for almost a year now. So I applied. It was harsh. In just a few months, regretfully, I resigned. The pressure of having to make it in such a little time broke me. Yet an another failed attempt to be useful. This is what it's like. You just break. You feel shitty, you cry, you panic, you resign. It rhymed.
Post a Comment
Read more

Beds

2018-2019 When something breaks you just buy a new one And yet some people can't let go of the one that broke Once, I had two beds One had broken down and I could barely sleep on it So I bought a new one It was just luxurious, so comfortable And yet, the day I had to throw the old one away, I froze I just couldn't do it So I kept both I took turns sleeping on them. One day I realized I can't keep doing this They took way too much room and it was impractical My family thought I had problems I cried on the floor between those two beds Months passed and finally... I threw out the new bed I don't know why, I just did it I took it to the second hand shop, crying The cashier thought I had problems I slept in my old bed but I still visited it every day Until one day, it was gone. The corner was empty. Someone had bought it. My face turned pale I knew this was going to happen sooner or later And yet it still hit me like a bullet out of nowhere Now I s...
Post a Comment
Read more

A special needs me and my special needs cat

2017 "Found from a huge colony of abandoned, sick and starving cats?" I asked her over the phone, crying inside. "Yeah, he was found living in extremely poor conditions with over a hundred other abandoned cats. I immediately told her I was gonna call back, ended the call and called my boyfriend to discuss adopting a sad cat who had been waiting for a forever home for almost a year. I described the cat's personality and he said he was perfect. The next thing I remember is rushing to the pet store with my boyfriend right after he got home from work. We argued a lot over what to buy him. What kind of food, what kind of toys and so on. This shopping trip took a great toll on our wallets and made me feel anxious. I was excited though. He was promised to be a very calm, considerate and affectionate one. And after the catastrophy that was my obnoxiously loud and violent pet rabbit, it all seemed so... Perfect. "Maybe he will ease my mind when I'm home alone...
Post a Comment
Read more